Thursday, August 13, 2009

Inevitable

"When I grow up I won’t say that to my children!" For some people this declaration actually holds true, especially if they’ve had horrendous parents. I was given a pair of solid C’s. They meant well and frankly I would need to go back several generations to properly place the blame. I feel like I have a tighter grasp on parenting then they did. I listen to my children and validate their feelings. I give them logical answers to questions but most often they aren’t satisfied and as a result, "because I said so" and "do I need to pull this car over" freely roll off my tongue. I feel the duality of emotions but I just can’t help myself. These are the perfect responses to ridiculous questions or situations. When my kids repeatedly ask why they can’t have candy for breakfast or why they can’t unbuckle their car seats while the car is in motion my answer often becomes, "BECAUSE I SAID SO!"

My mother would set the kitchen timer if I was taking an exorbitant amount of time eating dinner. This seemed like such a dick move. Clearly I hated what I was eating and it didn’t matter how much time went by. I was never going to finish. Some time ago during the fourteenth hour of dinner I'm embarrassed to say I had an "aha moment." My kids weren’t eating liver or scallops. They were simply playing around, not eating and whining for dessert. It was an involuntary reflex as I found myself pressing the buttons. "I AM SETTING THE TIMER!" I now see these phrases, although disturbing, sprouted out of necessity.

Every parent knows driving with children can be thorny at times. There have been many instances while navigating the highways and byways I have been ordered to produce specific beverages or snacks and when those requests have been denied endured a 10 minute seat kicking. I am often taxed to play a song which has no name but goes something like, "ummmm. You know the sooooong." Throw in a good old arm farting contest and a foot war and the only logical thing to do is threaten to "PULL THIS CAR OVER!" I’m not completely clear as to how pulling to the side of the road would fix the situation but it seems to be a natural response.

The only query that transcends both child and parent is, "Are we there yet?" I don’t care how old you are. If you’re in a car for an extended period of time (especially with children) seriously, "ARE WE THERE YET?"

2 comments:

mixorr said...

I SERIOUSLY DID pull the car over today, just so you know

JLip said...

I frequently pull the car over, too. And I do it silently, just sit there and wait for them to figure out WTF just happened, WTF did they do to deserve this change of events. No words, just me sitting on the side of the road listening to the radio. Try it sometime :-)